


Not Tony's Fault

by RiaZendira



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-10
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:41:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiaZendira/pseuds/RiaZendira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Monica who asked for kid fic :-D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“DiNozzo!” Leroy Jethro Gibbs bellowed for all he was worth, his voice easily carrying out into the yard behind his suburban house. A faint crash, followed by the sound of scrambling feet and the opening and shutting of the back door rewarded his noisy beckoning. Moments later, the tall, lanky, messy-haired figure of Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo slide his way into the the kitchen, bare feet scooting a significant distance on the tile floor before he came to a halt a short span away from Gibbs.

“Where’s the fire, boss?” Tony asked, breathlessly, eyes alert.

“What in the _hell_ is this?” Gibbs demanded, holding up one hand, covered from finger tip to base of palm in electric green goo.

Tony turned his head to one side, as if innocently trying to recall something he’d forgotten, and lifted a hand, index finger extended, pointing at the thin air next to him. There was a pause as Tony appeared to be concentrating.

“Ahh... I believe it’s called ‘Gak’,” Tony finally supplied. “You know, originally made by Nickelodeon, they had it on this game show...” Tony’s voice trailed off as he stared at the distinctly unamused man across from him.

Gibbs rolled his eyes heavenward and let out an exasperated sigh. “I know that, Tony.” He took a determined step closer to the other man. “What’s it doing _in our house_ ?” He inquired, laser-focused gaze aimed directly at a now squirming Tony.

“Ah... not my fault, boss. Abby said every kid had to have--” Tony’s self-excusing litany abruptly halted as Gibbs stepped another step closer, goo covered hand held out in front of him.    

Tony’s eyes fluttered from the green hand and back to Gibbs’ face. “Umm... boss?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Tony?”

“Tell me what, boss?” Tony quirked an eyebrow knowingly.

“Tony!” Jethro’s tone was chiding, but fond.

“Yeah... _boss_ ?” Tony repeated, tone sly.

How he ever put up with this man was beyond him to comprehend some days. Jethro sighed, stepped forward purposefully and thrust his goo-covered palm against Tony’s chest, making sure to be vengeful enough to grind the green slime as deliberately as he could into the weave of Tony’s t-shirt.

Closing the last bit of distance between them, Jethro lifted his other hand and placed it on the back of Tony’s neck, pulling the other man’s body in toward him. Resting their foreheads together, he whispered, “The name’s Jethro.”

“Sure, boss. Whatever you say, boss.” Tony returned, his voice husky and mocking all at once. Gibbs growled and leaned in to kiss the taunting, frustrating mouth in front of him quiet.

Their embrace was rapidly escalating beyond kitchen-appropriate behavior when a voice cut through the room.

“Daddy? Where’d you go?”

Tony pulled his mouth away from the kiss and belted out a quick, “In the kitchen!” before slamming his lips back down on Jethro’s. Small footsteps could be heard padding their way from the back door, through the dining room, and homing in on the kitchen. Reluctantly, they started the process of releasing the embrace just as the owner of the footsteps entered the room and killed their ardor with a definitive and annoyed sounding,

“Eeew, gross! Kissing. Blech”

After a final smooch, Jethro spun Tony lightly away from him and towards the door, then turned back to the counter where he’d been starting to prepare dinner before he’d accidentally found the unauthorized slime half under the cutting board.

Moving towards the sink to rinse his hand, he stated matter-of-factly,“Nothing wrong with kissing.” He spun the faucet and looked over his shoulder at their aggravated 5 year old and at his partner.  

Tony’s knowing smirk in reply clearly showed his own opinion of kissing.

“Kissing,” Amy paused to come up with words adequate to her thoughts, “is gross,” she finished looking frustrated that she lacked more emphatic vocabulary suited to the task of defining something so disgusting as kissing. “It’s like licking somebody,” she proclaimed triumphantly. “Dad, you told me not to lick anything ‘cept food.”

Jethro turned to look at the source of what sounded like a muffled chuckle.  
  
Tony was now standing behind their daughter, clearly trying not to bust a gut in laughter at this pronouncement, his eyes merry. He stooped to scoop Amy into his arms and lift her high. Jethro’s lips quirked into a half smile of their own accord at the sight.

“Yeah, _dad_ , she’s just telling it like it is.” Tony teased, hugging Amy to his chest, his smile tucked right beside hers, the both of them smirking at Jethro full force.  
“What am I gonna do with you two?” Jethro asked, shaking his head, amusement and love warring to peek out of his deadpan tone. They both just smiled at him. Amy leaned her head back against Tony’s shoulder and for a moment all was quiet in the house.

“Eeeew! Daddy, you’re covered in goop!” She shrieked. Squirming forwards, she pulled one of her pigtails in front of her face and tried to inspect the ends for contamination by green goo. “Let me go! Get it off me!” She wiggled and Tony bent forward with little grace, but great care, and gently dropped her onto her feet on the floor.  She immediately turned and ran towards the hallway mirror, turning to try and see if there was any damage to the back of her shirt.

It was Jethro’s turn to look smugly at Tony and hold back laughter by sheer willpower. He raised an eyebrow at his co-parent and asked wryly,

“So... didn’t buy the gak for the kid, huh?” Tony looked sheepishly back at him.

“Umm... it’s possible that when Abby told me there were certain things every kid should have at some point in their childhood... our conversation wasn’t 100% about Amy...,” he shuffled in place, vulnerable eyes lifting to fix on his partner’s face.

Jethro stepped towards him, put his hands on Tony’s hips, and quickly lifted his shirt over his head before Tony could protest. Stepping back, he balled the inside-out material in one hand and lobbed it at Tony. Tony caught it one-handed against his chest reflexively. Jethro lifted his still slightly green hand and wiped it off on the crumpled shirt. Sliding his hand up to cup Tony’s cheek, he patted it once and said,  

“Go convince the kid she hasn’t been permanently gooped. Dinner in 20.” Tony smiled a wide, happy smile and turned to go after Amy.  

Jethro couldn’t help smiling as the soft, “On it, boss,” reached his ears.


	2. Probably Abby's Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About 6 years down the line from chapter 1. Still just silly sweet kidfic.

“Boss! DUCK!” Tony yelled. Sprinting the last two yards and diving for cover, he slid to an inelegant halt next to his partner. Crouching low and peeking over the wooden barrier, he risked a quick look to his side at Gibbs. The gray-haired man was unmarked, thank god. The red spatters decorated the boards just above his head, but the man himself sat, back to the barrier, calm as ever.

Tony caught his breath and scanned the area. Sunlight filtered through the tree cover in uneven patches. Leaves in a riot of colors lay in piles haphazardly about the surrounding clearing. No one was in sight. Beside him, Gibbs checked his weapon, giving it a brief shake and a sudden slam to the magazine with the palm of his hand. 

“Gibbs! They may not ALL know where we are! Don’t give away our position with unnecessary sound!” Tony shook his head, bemused. Gibbs was the one who’d taught him many of his combat skills; how the man could be so lax currently perplexed him. 

“You do realize this is just paintball, right, Tony?” The corner of Gibbs’ mouth quirked in amusement. Tony scowled. Jethro didn’t seem to appreciate the scope of this threat at all.

“You realize that’s our daughter out there and if we lose - we never live this down in front of her, Ziva or Abby, right?” Tony returned. 

Gibbs rolled his eyes in a ‘so what’ gesture. Tony decided to up the stakes. 

“There was a time when you were more competitive... getting old, Pops?” Tony smirked gleefully, accurately anticipating the head-slap of retribution. Annnnd there it was. Jethro’s hand slid down from its gentle smack to the back of Tony’s head to rest on Tony’s neck. Gripping suddenly, he pulled Tony to face him. 

“Never.” His eyes were fierce and his tone low. The crisp fall air contrasted with the warmth of his breath and Tony unconsciously swayed closer, drawn to the passion of the man as he’d always been. He squirmed awkwardly when his paint gun clanked against Gibbs’. Scooting it a little to the side, he looked up at Jethro through his lashes, eager smile on his face. 

“They say you’re only as old as who you feel after all... hey Boss, wanna feel me?” Tony waggled his eyebrows in invitation. Gibbs shot him an exasperated glare, tempered with the faintest ghost of a smile upon his lips. The sudden snap of a twig too close sounded. 

“Damn, I was hoping for a little mid-paintball make-out session.” Tony grumbled softly, pushing himself back against the shelter of the barrier.

“Let’s go.” Gibbs growled, suddenly all business. He met Tony’s eyes and jerked his head left, and nodded. Tony nodded back and pointed at Gibbs, and then directly up. Gibbs smiled and jerked his chin upwards in answer. With one last fond glance exchanged, they launched into action. 

Tony charged left around the wall, keeping low but with little regard for the riotously crunching leaves beneath his feet. Gibbs stood abruptly, one foot on the barrier’s support beam so that he was suddenly over seven feet tall and able to easily aim down at the person on the opposite side of the wall. 

Abby went down in a sudden close range simultaneous hail of blue paint from the side and the front, laughing all the way. Ziva got off a shot that hit the wood just below where Gibbs hung over it, her aim pulled off by Abby tripping against her on the way down. Tony stepped forward and shot her where she fell, ready with a cocky comment when a bloom of red paint appeared on his chest. His eyes went wide with surprise and pride as he scanned the territory in front of him for the hidden shooter. 

Gibbs ducked back behind the wooden wall, smiling at Abby’s continued giggles and Ziva’s matching laughter. Tony was razzing them both for being taken out in a suicide run and being teased in return.

“It was a tactical move, Tony. We thought that if we gave you sufficient time to become... distracted-,” here Ziva was interrupted by Abby who stopped giggling long enough to interject.

“Gibbs and Tony, sitting in a tree, K... I... S... S... I, N, G!” She sing-songed the child’s rhyme and then dissolved into giggles again, falling back half onto the dusty forest floor and half onto Ziva. Ziva retaliated with a handful of brightly colored leaves dropped on Abby’s face. Abby’s giggling sputtered to a halt as she blew the leaves from her face and grabbed a handful to toss at Ziva. Tony watched them with amusement and stepped back so he wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire. 

“Good thing we’ve already done the baby carriage part, huh, Jethro?” He called out over his shoulder. “Speaking of which, can you see where our little sniper in training is hiding?” Tony had dropped his weapon, as per the rules given that he’d been hit fair and square, but there was nothing that said he couldn’t keep talking to his teammate after “death”. 

“Nope.” Gibbs had an approximate range, the paint guns couldn’t fire that far after all, but he was pretty sure she was up a tree somewhere given the angle at which Tony had been hit. Their little girl was a smart one. It was Autumn, so there wasn’t a lot of leaf cover left, but she was small, and probably up high, so there was just enough that she could be in any number of nearby trees and they wouldn’t be able to see her outright. Plus, she could probably see him from above wherever he went now. What he needed was a distraction and cover fire. 

“McGee! Report!” Gibbs bellowed. 

“He can be of no help to you, Gibbs.” Ziva remarked. 

“Got him first! He’s halfway back to the clubhouse by now!” Abby crowed. “It’s just you against Amy! There can be only one!” Abby dissolved into giggles again. Tony groaned. 

“Really, Abs? You went there?” The light thud of a body landing on the forest floor, and then the scuffing noise and the paper crinkle sound of leaves moving against each other suggested that Tony had joined in the leaf fight with Abby. Gibbs got the impression he was missing a reference somewhere, but he was sure Tony would explain it to him later if it really mattered. Right now though, Jethro smiled a secret smile to himself, Tony was providing an excellent distraction that he could take advantage of. 

A tiny noise just at the edge of his hearing caught Gibbs’ attention. He froze and concentrated on listening. There it was again. Waiting for a particularly loud moment from the escalating leaf tussle going on behind him, he rolled to the side and relocated further to the right, stopping behind another barrier, this one angled so there was coverage from above. He peered through the slats, scanning the tree tops for the source of the muffled giggle that had gained his attention. 

Ah-ha! There she was. He could just see the edge of one dangling hiking boot. Clever girl. Anywhere he emerged from the barrier he was behind, she would be able to see him. In a real combat situation, he’d try to find a loose slat and shoot from where he was, but seeing as this was just paintball, he might as well give his little girl the glory of triumph. She’d learned well from the mock combat, but there were somethings she really didn’t need to be worried about at 12. Like not giggling during paintball. 

Moving swiftly, Gibbs ducked out from under the overhang, taking the most direct route between himself and the tree Amy was in. The leaf fight continued behind him as he ducked low to get a line of sight on Amy’s foot. Even closer, it was still the only part of her he could see. His baby really was a smart one. Raising his weapon, he took aim at Amy’s boot, knowing he was going to pay for any resultant paint stain later in twin frowns from his partner and his child for “destroying” a perfectly good boot. He really didn’t see what the big deal was, boots were made to get dirty. 

Ha! Perfect shot! He’d even managed to just get the sole of her boot. The resounding high-pitched shriek of indignation was so very much his girl. For all her grown up talk as a ‘pre-teen’, he loved that some things still brought out her youth. He inched closer to see if she’d moved position and received a paint ball to the chest for his trouble. Well, he was out. And there she was, hanging lower from the tree, body positioned away from him, still almost completely covered by the trunk. She’d just picked him off once she knew where he was. Probably even planned it that way. He smiled. 

“Uh! Ya got me!” Gibbs dropped his weapon and clutched his hand to his chest. Slumping slowly, he fell to his knees dramatically. Giggles surrounded him from the front and the back as his little girl took in his theatrical efforts and Ziva and Abby realized what was going on. Allowing his body to fall to the side, he could just see Tony out of the corner of his peripheral vision. His partner’s wide smirk of amusement was worth the price of the fake drama. 

Amy slid down the tree at a somewhat alarming rate, but landed soundly, so Gibbs kept up his play acting. 

“Tony! It’s up to you... avenge... me.” With a gasp and a final limp slump, he fell completely to the ground like an abandoned puppet. He lolled his head to the side and lay quietly. 

Tony laughed and shook his head. “Jethro, I’m already ‘dead’, how am I supposed to avenge you? Amy’s the one woman left standing. I’d say it’s time for lunch.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes towards his partner, twitched the fingers of the hand nearest to Tony and mouthed ‘avenge me!’. Tony’s eyes lit up with sudden understanding. 

“Oh. Oh! Avenge you. Got it, Boss.” 

“Jethroooo! I shall avenge you!” Tony swore fervently at loud volume. Gibbs tried not to laugh as Tony sprinted forward, jumped over his ‘dead’ body and scooped Amy up into his arms. Twirling her in a circle, he flopped them both down onto the forest floor and started to tickle along her rib cage. 

“Daddy! I got you fair and square - and Dad too! You’re not supposed to come back from the ‘dead’ for tickling!” She giggled and flung her lanky arms out, elbows forward, in an attempt to stop the tickle onslaught. 

“I’m a zombie! Braaaaains! No wait- tickles! Tickles!” Tony exclaimed. Gibbs lunged to his feet and joined the tickle fight in progress. Giggles, shrieks and laughter abounded. Ziva and Abby observed, but after exchanging a glance of appraisal, mutually decided against joining the melee.

Amy held her own well and after one particularly good rib poke at her daddy, managed to scramble away leaving her two tired parents lounging on the ground. Tony half heartedly waved his hand in the direction of Jethro’s rib cage as if to continue by tickling him, but Gibbs’ sudden lurch to the side and the fact that his wrist ended up in a vice grip terminated that thought quickly. Allowing his arm to be held hostage, Tony dove towards Gibbs and stole a quick peck on the lips before jumping to his feet. Holding out his now free hand for Jethro to grab, he assisted the other man to his feet. 

“Well... I don’t know about you all, but I really am ready for lunch now.” Tony surveyed his disheveled fellow paintball players with glee. “But first! We owe someone her winnings!” With that, Tony swept his little girl off her feet again and up onto his shoulder - a feat he could just barely accomplish at her current weight and height - and moved over toward Gibbs for assistance. 

Amy rode back to the clubhouse in style, upon the shoulders of the defeated team, with her fellow team members gloating and recounting the game’s best moments along the way. They found McGee as they neared the edge of the wooded area. 

“Hey, McCop-out!” Tony called out. “Since you’re not doing the heavy lifting, you get to buy lunch!” 

McGee smiled ruefully in return. “I thought I was already doing that because I was first man down! In fact, lunch awaits, ladies,” here he bowed to Ziva, Abby and Amy “- and gentlemen - though I hesitate to call you one, Tony,” he finished as he spun and started jogging towards the clubhouse. 

“Them’s fightin’ words, McGeek!” Tony taunted back. He looked up at Amy and lifted his eyebrows in query. She nodded. Tony swept his hand around her back and carefully lofted her down to the ground, leaving her standing next to Gibbs. Tearing after McGee, Tony could be heard yelling numerous teasing variations on the other man’s moniker. A moment later, Ziva and Abby took up chase after the two men, their laughter filling the air in their wake. 

Smile wide, Jethro looked down at his little girl. Amy looked back at him and offered him her hand. As he took the smaller hand in his own, he could feel the smile stretch to cover his whole face, the crinkle of the area around his eyes. He blinked, once, twice. Amy looked at him and ducked her head, the tiny sweet smirk on her face the one that always reminded him of Tony. Then she tossed her head back and looked him in the eye.

“Come on, dad - Let’s catch them!” 

Hand in hand, they took off running down the well worn path. Towards the rest of their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at: http://riazendira.dreamwidth.org/65406.html where more author's notes are available.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at: http://riazendira.dreamwidth.org/58749.html where more author's notes are available.


End file.
